Flamjatlog is a god.

He takes the form of a large, overgenerous ant.

Flamjatlog created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamjatlog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamjatlog, he will have a low opinion of you.

Flamjatlog's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flamjatlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Worship no other gods but Flamjatlog.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.