Sitfutcetjapstipmobquagmis is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic ferret.

Sitfutcetjapstipmobquagmis created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitfutcetjapstipmobquagmis, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sitfutcetjapstipmobquagmis, it will refuse to believe in you.

Sitfutcetjapstipmobquagmis' most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Sitfutcetjapstipmobquagmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always help sick porpoises.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never feed lots of figs to aardvarks while wearing cyan skirts.