Kanmanwad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, egotistical wombat.

Kanmanwad created the Black Eye Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanmanwad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kanmanwad, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kanmanwad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Kanmanwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about great tits.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never laugh in the presence of voles.