Cipvabstik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, proud hippopotamus.

Cipvabstik created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipvabstik, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cipvabstik, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cipvabstik's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Cipvabstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Do not hurt doves.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.