Catlinbest Jiggebhogrut is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful human.

Catlinbest Jiggebhogrut created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catlinbest Jiggebhogrut, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Catlinbest Jiggebhogrut, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Catlinbest Jiggebhogrut's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Catlinbest Jiggebhogrut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Catlinbest Jiggebhogrut.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect six iron sculptures of Catlinbest Jiggebhogrut on top of important buildings.