Nanbimhab is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fussy aardvark.

Nanbimhab created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nanbimhab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nanbimhab, he will destroy your favourite star.

Nanbimhab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nanbimhab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always wear pink.