Nilratbin is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nilratbin created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilratbin, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nilratbin, she will turn you into a tree.

Nilratbin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nilratbin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three copper sculptures of Nilratbin on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never think about dark energy.

5. Never eat bark.