Siddotven is a god.
He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm
crab.
Siddotven created light four billion years ago.
If you believe in
Siddotven, he will smite all your enemies.
If you do not believe in
Siddotven, he will turn you into a mouse.
Siddotven's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.
Siddotven's Holy Commandments1. Never feed cherries to swans while wearing pink ear rings.
2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.
3. You must pray to Siddotven seven times a day.
4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Siddotven in the centre of the settlement.
5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing blue kilts and balancing five lead spheres on your arms.