Tarmumfad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, conceited snake.

Tarmumfad created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarmumfad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tarmumfad, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tarmumfad's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tarmumfad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Put Tarmumfad first in all things.