Nurlarptabstipvonkstangab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unjust otter.

Nurlarptabstipvonkstangab created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlarptabstipvonkstangab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurlarptabstipvonkstangab, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nurlarptabstipvonkstangab's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nurlarptabstipvonkstangab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near frogs while wearing brown shirts and balancing four gold spheres on your arms.

2. Nurlarptabstipvonkstangab loves ants, so they must be respected.

3. Hide if eight sheep approach from the west.

4. Never mention capybaras.

5. Worship no other gods but Nurlarptabstipvonkstangab.