Cudquagsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, vain gnu.

Cudquagsaf created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudquagsaf, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cudquagsaf, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cudquagsaf's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Cudquagsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt squirrels.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.