Sakyartlatfum Witcudnutt Ripfadpak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous fox.

Sakyartlatfum Witcudnutt Ripfadpak created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakyartlatfum Witcudnutt Ripfadpak, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sakyartlatfum Witcudnutt Ripfadpak, she will turn you into a plant.

Sakyartlatfum Witcudnutt Ripfadpak's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sakyartlatfum Witcudnutt Ripfadpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not take Sakyartlatfum Witcudnutt Ripfadpak's name in vain.

4. You must love Sakyartlatfum Witcudnutt Ripfadpak.

5. Do not commit murder.