Tettilapstan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, humorless snail.

Tettilapstan created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettilapstan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tettilapstan, it will send minions to preach to you.

Tettilapstan's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tettilapstan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.