Vogtenlib is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, weak frog.

Vogtenlib created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogtenlib, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vogtenlib, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Vogtenlib's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Vogtenlib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Never bounce in the presence of cats.

3. Vogtenlib loves sheep, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not stand on grass.