Soggumpopstipkomzigran is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest seal.

Soggumpopstipkomzigran created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Soggumpopstipkomzigran, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Soggumpopstipkomzigran, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Soggumpopstipkomzigran's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Soggumpopstipkomzigran's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight bats approach from the north.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Feed all hungry ducks.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing fawn trousers.