Damquafnigbeg is a god.
She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, idiotic
cow.
Damquafnigbeg created the world five billion years ago.
If you believe in
Damquafnigbeg, she will ignore you forever.
If you do not believe in
Damquafnigbeg, she will cry a lot.
Damquafnigbeg's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.
Damquafnigbeg's Holy Commandments1. Do not wear purple clothing.
2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.
3. Never think ill of sick rats.
4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.
5. Never write about cell theory.