Megvonquamgid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, thoughtless tapir.

Megvonquamgid created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Megvonquamgid, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Megvonquamgid, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Megvonquamgid's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Megvonquamgid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat birds with great respect.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not kill tortoises.