Narlhomlik is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witless yak.

Narlhomlik created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlhomlik, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Narlhomlik, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Narlhomlik's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Narlhomlik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. You must love Narlhomlik.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about dark energy near swans while wearing red dresses and balancing four copper spheres on your hands.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near mice while wearing pink coats and balancing five gold spheres on your head.