Lapgadtab Gutkabkom is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring dog.

Lapgadtab Gutkabkom created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapgadtab Gutkabkom, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lapgadtab Gutkabkom, it will turn you into a frog.

Lapgadtab Gutkabkom's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Lapgadtab Gutkabkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention foxes.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always treat doves with great respect.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near snakes while wearing cyan stockings and balancing five iron spheres on your face.