Tityarlpid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain tortoise.

Tityarlpid created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tityarlpid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tityarlpid, she will turn you into a duck.

Tityarlpid's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tityarlpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Worship no other gods but Tityarlpid.

3. Do not take Tityarlpid's name in vain.

4. Hide if five mites approach from the west.

5. You must love Tityarlpid.