Larnquamhot Arpfodfab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable raccoon.

Larnquamhot Arpfodfab created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnquamhot Arpfodfab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larnquamhot Arpfodfab, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Larnquamhot Arpfodfab's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Larnquamhot Arpfodfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Run away if six voles approach from the south.