Lopflykap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unjust turtle.

Lopflykap created the Sombrero Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopflykap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lopflykap, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Lopflykap's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lopflykap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to mites while wearing cyan skirts.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lopflykap.

4. You must pray to Lopflykap three times a day.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.