Fetkamarm is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, benevolent naga.

Fetkamarm created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetkamarm, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fetkamarm, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fetkamarm's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Fetkamarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help snakes in need.

4. Erect four titanium sculptures of Fetkamarm on top of important buildings.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.