Dibnurpib is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent tortoise.

Dibnurpib created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibnurpib, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dibnurpib, it will be very unhappy.

Dibnurpib's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dibnurpib's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dibnurpib.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near frogs while wearing mauve shirts and balancing three zinc spheres on your arms.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always help sick rats.