Gofcimarp is a god.
She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage
swan.
Gofcimarp created silver five million years ago.
If you believe in
Gofcimarp, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.
If you do not believe in
Gofcimarp, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.
Gofcimarp's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.
Gofcimarp's Holy Commandments1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.
2. Do not stand on grass.
3. Do not covet oxen.
4. Never look in ponds.
5. Fast once a month.