Kinjipgig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, calm hummingbird.

Kinjipgig created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kinjipgig, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinjipgig, it will manifest in front of you.

Kinjipgig's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Kinjipgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to nematodes while wearing skirts.

2. Feed all hungry snakes.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about aardvarks.