Apptanfot is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, self-confident goose.

Apptanfot created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Apptanfot, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Apptanfot, she will turn you into a snail.

Apptanfot's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Apptanfot's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Apptanfot on top of important buildings.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.