Witsatbess is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless otter.

Witsatbess created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Witsatbess, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Witsatbess, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Witsatbess' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Witsatbess' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Always help rats.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about comets.