Damdumtail is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, astonishing mole.

Damdumtail created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Damdumtail, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Damdumtail, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Damdumtail's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Damdumtail's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Do not speak about nuts.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.