Fotjopflam is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, wise human.

Fotjopflam created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotjopflam, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fotjopflam, it will refuse to believe in you.

Fotjopflam's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Fotjopflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Never mention badgers.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

5. Never leap in the presence of gulls.