Bestfabomin Shavigben is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless otter.

Bestfabomin Shavigben created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestfabomin Shavigben, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bestfabomin Shavigben, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bestfabomin Shavigben's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bestfabomin Shavigben's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not keep eight monkeys in a large pit.