Volstipsat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, loving ferret.

Volstipsat created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Volstipsat, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Volstipsat, it will come to you in dreams.

Volstipsat's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Volstipsat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Volstipsat.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Hide from turquoise hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.