Cemfarnfasbansitjinsom is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, calm spider.

Cemfarnfasbansitjinsom created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Cemfarnfasbansitjinsom, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cemfarnfasbansitjinsom, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cemfarnfasbansitjinsom's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Cemfarnfasbansitjinsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

4. Hide if seven moths approach from the east.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.