Volnegbass is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful aardvark.

Volnegbass created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Volnegbass, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Volnegbass, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Volnegbass' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Volnegbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never feed garlic to great tits while wearing shirts.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.