Tunyokmif is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, sage alligator.

Tunyokmif created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tunyokmif, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tunyokmif, he will not care.

Tunyokmif's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tunyokmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. You must love Tunyokmif.

5. Never feed lentils to tapirs while wearing corsets.