Quafjabflig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, astonishing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Quafjabflig created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Quafjabflig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quafjabflig, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quafjabflig's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Quafjabflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Quafjabflig's name in vain.

2. Worship no other gods but Quafjabflig.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing mauve shirts and balancing five carbon spheres on your face.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Quafjabflig must be the most important thing in your life.