Nartvonfen Quamdid is a god.

He takes the form of a small, quiet unicorn.

Nartvonfen Quamdid created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartvonfen Quamdid, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nartvonfen Quamdid, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nartvonfen Quamdid's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nartvonfen Quamdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. You must love Nartvonfen Quamdid.

5. Do not cook food in pots.