Biglargtan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless wombat.

Biglargtan created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Biglargtan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Biglargtan, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Biglargtan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Biglargtan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Biglargtan.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Never eat tomatoes.