Hivhamlat is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous goat.

Hivhamlat created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivhamlat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hivhamlat, he will torture you forever.

Hivhamlat's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Hivhamlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Hide if five manatees approach from the east.

5. Never talk about fire.