Jabcetcid is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful zebra.

Jabcetcid created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Jabcetcid, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabcetcid, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jabcetcid's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Jabcetcid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabcetcid.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. You must pray to Jabcetcid six times a day.