Himnurtmig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, awe-inspiring alligator.

Himnurtmig created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Himnurtmig, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Himnurtmig, he will turn you into a snail.

Himnurtmig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Himnurtmig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Himnurtmig first in all things.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Himnurtmig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.