Limpakcub is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless elephant.

Limpakcub created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Limpakcub, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Limpakcub, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Limpakcub's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Limpakcub's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three tapirs approach from the west.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always look after injured geese.