Nibkadnigjab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, pitiless raccoon.

Nibkadnigjab created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nibkadnigjab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nibkadnigjab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nibkadnigjab's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nibkadnigjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven otters in a large pit.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nibkadnigjab.