Gomcutloop is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, contented shrew.

Gomcutloop created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomcutloop, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gomcutloop, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gomcutloop's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gomcutloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Run away if eight dolphins approach from the north.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gomcutloop.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.