Futlaktun is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, astonishing meerkat.

Futlaktun created parasitic wasps eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futlaktun, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Futlaktun, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Futlaktun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Futlaktun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Futlaktun on top of important buildings.

3. Do not keep eight geese in a large pit.

4. Never hop near grasshopers.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.