Podcapxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous gerbil.

Podcapxuc created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Podcapxuc, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Podcapxuc, she will turn you into a sheep.

Podcapxuc's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Podcapxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Podcapxuc loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

4. Never feed rice to pigs while wearing dresses.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.