Tarfagfligman is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, grumpy giraffe.

Tarfagfligman created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarfagfligman, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarfagfligman, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tarfagfligman's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tarfagfligman's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Hide if five porpoises approach from the south.

3. Feed all hungry horses.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.