Flamflanwit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, almighty cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Flamflanwit created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamflanwit, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flamflanwit, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flamflanwit's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Flamflanwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near whales.

2. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

3. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about gravity near snails while wearing red shorts and balancing five platinum spheres on your feet.

5. Always help moths.