Yamfenjarn Batrencamzog is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical lizard.

Yamfenjarn Batrencamzog created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamfenjarn Batrencamzog, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yamfenjarn Batrencamzog, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yamfenjarn Batrencamzog's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Yamfenjarn Batrencamzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention great tits.

2. Always help sick pigs.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.