Badnullfomvigdutbatxenxin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical hyena.

Badnullfomvigdutbatxenxin created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badnullfomvigdutbatxenxin, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Badnullfomvigdutbatxenxin, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Badnullfomvigdutbatxenxin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Badnullfomvigdutbatxenxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to doves while wearing jumpers.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not take Badnullfomvigdutbatxenxin's name in vain.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Always help sick tapirs.